Un coup de barre et ça repart !

hapiness

Ce début de semaine a été difficile à gérer. Est-ce parce que le week-end avait été trop beau, trop formidable et que revenir sur terre a été difficile? Ou bien, est-ce tout simplement les ennuis, les obligations qui me rattrapent ?

cryingJe suis encore submergée par des papiers à terminer pour la succession de ma maman (voilà 9 mois que cela dure, j’ai l’impression que je n’en finirai jamais), des ennuis banquiers avec monsieur Ex (l’impression que je me ferai encore et toujours avoir), l’impression de ne pas faire les choses correctement au travail, la peur de ne pas être assez efficace, la peur qu’on se demande à quoi je sers.

Et puis, la date fatidique qui devait arriver : l’anniversaire de ma maman disparue en août dernier. Elle aurait eu 88 ans cette semaine. Et là, je me suis écroulée comme une m…. Pardonnez-moi l’expression, mais ce fut vraiment le cas. Oh, ça n’a pas duré ! Je n’aime pas me montrer en spectacle, mais d’un coup, dans ma voiture, à mon volant, les larmes ont coulé et ne voulaient plus s’arrêter, une vraie cascade, j’ai du me garer. Et là, j’ai pratiquement hurler ma douleur. Je crois que mes nerfs ont lâché après tous ces mois et ces années si difficiles dans ma vie familiale. Deuils, séparation, difficulté à gérer les enfants, peur de perdre leur amour.

Monsieur anti-dépresseur m’avait bien soutenu jusque là. J’ai arrêté (doucement et avec contrôle médical), maintenant je suis une grande, il faut que j’assume toutes ces douleurs sans cette béquille chimique.

Heureusement, j’ai mon petit blog, c’est mon psy à domicile :).

Et puis , j’ai mon Namoureux qui veille sur moi, il n’est pas présent physiquement au jour le jour, mais je sais qu’il n’est pas loin et que je peux m’appuyer sur lui.

Et puis, j’ai tous ces projets : une maison à moi où Namoureux sera de plus en plus présent, une nouvelle belle-famille qui m’accepte maintenant, des vacances de rêve.

Allez, je vais tordre le coup à ce gros blues passager, et je vais raccrocher monsieur sourire sur mon visage.

hapinessEt vous, en ce moment, comment ça va?

action onRendez-vous sur Hellocoton !

12 Comments

  1. Marie Kléber

    Il faut lâcher prise à un moment donné, laisser les larmes couler, la douleur éclater. C’est vital. Douces pensées pour toi. Prends soin de toi. Nous sommes là, derrière l’écran et nous te soutenons, en silence. Grosses bises

  2. bypimprenelle

    Courage ! On a tous des passages ã vide et puis heureusement on rebondit !

  3. rideerieuse

    Ces dates fatidiques, ca remue, ca fait mal à notre petit coeur. Mais il y a aussi plein de projets et la joie autour de toi. Mais, ma parole, je parle comme une Bonne soeur ! Aller, courage

  4. gren38

    Pas de très proches perdus pour l’instant, mais de tout cœur avec toi.
    Et l’avenir est la devant toi pour t’apporter de nouvelles envies de nouvelles joies et tout plein de bonnes choses sans pour autant enlever tes ressentis mais certainement en les atténuant avec le temps,
    Courage
    Bises

  5. Bouchine

    Plein de pensées positives … On est là avec toi parce qu’on a tous et toutes, à un moment ou un autre, vécu ces choses pas très faciles à vivre qui nous laissent croire qu’on sombre…Nos mots servent juste à te montrer qu’on comprend ce que tu ressens… Bisous

    1. escapadesamoureuses

      Oh merci beaucoup !! c’est aussi fait pour ça la blogo 🙂

  6. Bulle

    Ce n’est pas évident ces moments là, malheureusement, ils arrivent. Moi je me dis cette phrase “ça aussi, ça passera”. ..

  7. kathy

    Comme je te comprends, j’ai eu de nombreux passage à vide , toujours se relever un peu plus fort , mais quelques fois et avec l’age qui avance et les personnes chers à nos coeurs qui s’en vont , la douleur et le mal etre prends le dessus…alors vivons l’instant present du mieux que l’on peut sans se juger ….bon courage à toi ….
    kathy

  8. fedora

    Je t’envoie plein de courage (et des chaudoudoux ^^)… Moi ça va, comme je dis toujours : ça va toujours, on n’a pas le choix 😉 gros bisous

  9. Bernieshoot

    courage

  10. La Harpie Feroce

    Pour aller ca va toujours , pour revenir , c’est plus dur il ya la fatigue en plus .

  11. matchingpoints

    Nous avons tous et toutes des passages à vide – l’entourage peut aider, écrire sur le blog aussi…bon courage

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